Thursday, January 5, 2012

20 Years Ago

Hillsborough High School                   Photo by Richard Prado
 
This year marks 20 years since I graduated from high school. It's really hard to fathom. It doesn't feel like it has been 20 years most of the time. I just really don't feel like that much time has passed. But, it has, and I have to just face it.


When I was in high school, I wasn't one of the "popular" kids, although I seemed to know a lot of people. My friends were comprised of people from all sorts of "cliques" - from the "burnouts", ROTC kids, Band kids, dancerettes, choir and show choir kids, and maybe even what some considered "nerds." I don't think I was ever "cool," but I was okay with that, for the most part. I had some good times in high school, and had some good friends. 

I don't think I ever really fit in to any specific mold. I was in choir, ran sound for our show choir (Sound System), was in drama club, and spent a year on Yearbook. I was not athletic by any stretch of the imagination, so I never did sports. I never had any reason to hang out with any cheerleaders or jocks, unless they were in one of my classes. I never once spent any time with them outside of school. Maybe some people considered me a nerd, but I never felt like one. 


20 years later, and I have found a lot of people I knew (and some I didn't really KNOW) from high school, and I see where a lot of them have gone in their lives. I see a lot of success. Some are single, some are married, some are divorced, some have kids, and some don't. I kinda took a different road than many of them, and for a while it bothered me to see how I had not gone as far in life as many of them. Today, I feel different. I have traveled the path that I needed to, to get to where I am today.


I didn't go to college after high school. I ran away to another state with someone I thought I loved. It didn't work out, and I was back home in a few months. I later got married, and then got divorced. I still never went back to school. I did try school for a short time while I was married, but it didn't work out for various reasons. I kinda went from one dead-end job to another for many, many years. I moved from state to state, and didn't accomplish much. I just kind of floated around. In 2004, I gave birth to the best kid ever, alone. From then on, it was just us, and I knew I had to step up. I still was unsuccessful. I did make sure he had everything he needed. In 2006, we landed in a place where I had a great opportunity. I had a room to stay in, free child care, counseling to work on me, and then a chance to go to a technical school. I went to school for almost a year, and graduated with a 3.75 GPA in Accounting Specialist. That still didn't get me anywhere, as no one would hire me, for lack of experience. After a while, I found a job that didn't last (in a different field), and after losing that job, I moved to Kentucky. I now go to school and I am moving forward with my life. 


I consider myself successful. It may not be what other people consider successful, but to me it is. Yes, I still have things I need to work on, and one day I will work on those things. But, for now I am very happy with my life. I have a beautiful little boy, a few good friends, a roof over our head, and a fantastic church family. I may not have come a long way since high school, but I have come a long way in my life. I am happy with me, and that's what matters. 20 years ago, if anyone had told me this is where I'd be in 20 years, I would have cried. Now, I smile. My ideas of success have changed so much.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Back in the Routine

We are slowly getting back to our routine since school started back on yesterday. Of course, since last night was a scout night, we had to adjust to that, as well. Our normal Wednesday routine won't begin for another couple weeks, because there are special circumstances happening at church this week and next, and so we won't be there. My son played outside today for a while after coming home from school, then came in while I cooked dinner, and played some video games. After dinner, we watched a little TV, and he finished his "game time" for the night. We have a very special night time routine once he's had his bath, and I love it. We read a book (or a couple chapters). Then, before he goes to bed, he brushes his teeth, and we pray, and sometimes we do a nightly devotional

Family night time prayer is something I learned about while I was staying with some people that I babysat for when my son was very small. I had never seen or heard of it until that time. When I saw them do it, I knew right away that I would do that with Gavin. We've added it to it, a little here and there, and do night time devotionals for kids. One of our favorite devotional books is Goodnight Warrior by Sheila Walsh. It was actually a gift by the author a couple years ago, and now that Gavin can read on his own, it is even more special. I've also found several night time devotionals online. This is one routine I really don't like to break, but during this last break from school, we kind of got out of it. We prayed every night, but didn't read or do anything else. I'm just glad we have started the routine back up. 

Do you have any night time routines for your family?

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

School Daze

If you have read my blog in the past, or if you know me personally, you will note that I began taking online college classes in the Summer of 2010. I am working on my Associates, and was planning on pursuing my Bachelor's in Library Science after, but that may or may not change once I finish my Associates. Some things have changed in my life, to make me question if that's what I still want to do in my future. That's another post altogether, though, and I won't waste this one on that story.

My new semester, Spring 2012, begins in 6 days. Since I am unemployed at the moment, I decided to up my credit hours by taking one extra class. While I was working, I tried to take three classes at once, and had to drop a class, because I just couldn't handle it. Now that I have some extra time, I thought I might be able to concentrate on a third class, so I am giving it a go. I am really looking forward to my new classes, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me to learn over the next few months. One of my goals, organizing my time, is something I plan to work on during this semester. 

At the beginning of each semester, I always start off putting together a calendar of everything I need to do, when assignments are due, and such, but have a hard time scheduling life activities around it. I hope to get better at this stuff. I am praying to get all done that needs to be done. I have a habit of doing well in one or two aspects of life, but falling behind in another area. I am praying that I can find the time and energy to not lack in any area. 

Do you have any tips? If so, please feel free to share them with me here, and I might give them a shot.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Yes, I Am Single. So?

I am single, and I am happy, for the most part. There are days I wish I was in a relationship, but I am not on the hunt for a man, because I wouldn't know what to do with one if I had one at this point. I say that kind of jokingly, but in all seriousness, I am not sure how I would handle having someone else around, since I have been alone for so long. I haven't even really "dated" since my son was a very little baby, and that was only very short lived. He is seven, now. I hung out with a guy I knew from junior high/high school that I found through MySpace (remember, MySpace?), a few years ago, and that ended REALLY bad, seeing as how he got arrested for child pornography, and since then I just fear exposing my child to anybody, especially someone I am dating. Even having friends hanging around my son makes me a little cautious. There were no "signs" that this guy was into this kind of stuff, and he had no record, since the 27 counts he incurred in 2009 was his first offense.

Anyway, back to the subject. I haven't really had a long term type relationship in over a decade, and I have been okay with it. I will always put my child first, and don't understand people who jump from one relationship to the next, exposing their children to one relationship to the next. It affects the kids, as much as it affects the people who break up. I see it all the time. I also see women who scour dating sites, looking for men, and putting their children on the back burner. I don't understand it. My child always comes first. If I ever do get a date, it will be a while before I would allow that person to be a part of my son's life. He is very easily attached, and I wouldn't want him to get hurt. I know a lot of people reading this won't agree with me, and that's okay. I am entitled to my own opinions, and I also am the one personally responsible for what happens in my child's life.

All this being said, I do hope that God places a man in my life, but if it never happens, I will be okay with it. There are a lot of men in my church and in scouts that can be male role models for my son, so I don't need to go out and find a man to fulfill that role. I am also not lonely. I have lots of things to keep me satisfied in my life, and I don't need a man to do any of that for me, either. I am not saying it is wrong for anyone else, it is just not for me. I have grown a lot in the last several years, and I am not out looking for a "quick fix" any longer. 

If God does decide to bring someone into my life, I will be grateful, though, and strive to be the best possible me I can. I won't allow someone else to define me, or tell me how I should be. I've done that in the past, as well, and it never got me anywhere but hurt. I have a list of attributes I would want in a man, and I will not settle for anything less than what I have on my list. I will not date a non-Christian. That is the very first thing on my list. At this point, my priorities are to God first, Gavin second, and myself third. I will continue to work on those things, and whatever else comes along will just be a bonus.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Traditions

I do not believe in superstition, but I do believe in tradition, and my whole life, as long as I can remember, no matter where I've lived, I have had black eyed peas on New Year's Day. I grew up in FL, and my mother always made black eyed peas in the slow cooker, and we were required to eat them every year. As I grew up, it became a tradition with me, as well. I also grew to like them. I don't remember liking them as a kid, and as an adult, I have tried different recipes, and tweaked them a little bit every year, and like them very much. There are other traditions that go along with it, that I never knew about. You can read more about them here. I don't remember my mother serving us greens (which is supposed to represent money), but she did serve cornbread. Of course, cornbread is something we always had with any kind of beans.

Today was no different. I got up this morning, and started on my peas. I have found I prefer cooking all of my beans/peas on the stove top, rather than the slow cooker, these days. I used to always use the slow cooker for everything, but once I tried it using a pot on the stove, I fell in love with that method for beans and peas from now on. Anyway, I started on my peas earlier, and they were ready to eat by lunch time. One thing I think that's great is that my seven year old loves them! He couldn't wait for them to be finished. He kept asking if they were done. He has never questioned why we always eat them on New Year's Day, until today. I explained the best I could about the tradition. I'm not sure how much he understood. I am happy that my son is interested in the traditions, and maybe when he grows up and has his own family, he will continue the same tradition.

I served my black eyes peas with rice, and had a roll. I didn't have any of the other traditional foods on hand, so I just went with what I had. I don't think my luck or life will be affected my my decision. The peas came out great, and we still have lots of left overs. Here's a picture of how they turned out: 


What kind of New Year's traditions does your family have?

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