Snow!

We woke up Thursday morning to a phone call from the School Board saying there was no school. I knew there would be a chance of this, and had prepared Gavin by telling him it MIGHT snow, and he MIGHT NOT have school. Well, he was excited, because, as you know, we are from FL, and it does not snow there, and we had never seen snow! Well, the phone call woke us both, and as soon as I told Gavin, he ran to the window and GASPED! He was amazed at all the snow on the ground and wanted to immediately put on his boots and jacket and gloves and go out in it. Well, it was not yet 6 AM, and still dark, so I convinced him to wait until the sun had risen. He kept going to the window to see if it was light outside yet, and was discouraged every five minutes until a little over an hour had passed. We finally got to gear up and go outside and we were both SO THRILLED! This is how he looked the very first minute he was standing in snow:

As you can see he is so excited! And it is still kinda dark outside. We had such a good time, he liked the way it crunched beneath his feet when he walked, he loved running around in it and leaving giant footprints behind, and he liked trying to make snowballs. I had to make snowballs for him, and then hand them to him, so he could throw them....at me! That is true love when you do something so someone else can target you. The smile on his face never wavered throughout the whole time we were outside. He had so much fun. I was thrilled, as it was my first time seeing the powdery white stuff as well, and I really enjoyed everything about it. I kept looking around and thinking about God and how He is perfect and how beautiful a world He has designed for us to live in. He amazes me more and more every day. Gavin's favorite part of playing in the snow was making snow angels. We went out three times total yesterday and he made so many snow angels. My child is awesome and he loves the snow, and he knows that God made the snow. So, today we still have snow on the ground, and we are going to go back out and play in it and make snow angels to glorify God. I have to try to remember to glorify God in everything I do today. Without Him, I wouldn't exist, and without Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be who I am today. 

Please Stop Judging Me: A Rant

I am so tired of people downing me because of how I am surviving! I have had so many people talk crap to me lately about getting assistance. Ya know, I am doing what I need to do to take care of my family and if you don't like it, don't talk to me. I will not need assistance forever! If I didn't get assistance, my child would be in foster care, where the GOVERNMENT would be paying to house my child with people he doesn’t know....At least he is with me, and I think that is more important than any assistance I get. I am just so over this. I am a single mom of a special needs child living in a screwed up economy. I am doing the best with what I have! I have an education, but that education has failed me. I am unable to find work in the field that I worked so hard in school for. I do not feel like the world owes me anything! I am not just some welfare mom asking for handouts. I WANT to work, I WANT things for me and my son. I have been jumping through all kinds of hoops, and I am working on going back to school YET AGAIN. It just scares me that if I go to school again, that again I will be looking for work and not find it. No one has hired me because all I have is school and no experience. If I go to school again, who is to say that is not going to happen again?

I know it was MY decision to bring my child into the world, and I would not give him up for anything. He is my whole life. His existence changed me, for the better. I might not be alive today if it weren’t for him. His existence renewed my faith in Jesus Christ. I know God gave him to me for a reason. My son is destined for great things. And if it takes me having to live on food stamps and a little government assistance for a while, then that is what I will do.

I know that I have made poor decisions, but I cannot change any decisions I have already made! And I don’t have any regrets, because everything I have done in my life has brought me to where I am today. For me to work, I may have to have child care assistance, as well. Will I get snubbed by people yet again? I have no family where I live, and even if I lived where my family lived, they are not responsible to take care of my child so I can work. That is up to me to find the help out there. So, the people who have family willing to help them, I think that is awesome! Instead of snubbing others who don’t have the family support, you should be thankful for the help your family gives you. Not everyone has that.

I started working at 14 years old. I have worked since I have had my child. I have not just sat on my butt collecting welfare since he was born. I went to school to better my life, and it hasn’t bettered my life in any way, except by showing me that I can finish something I started.  I don’t have a husband, and I don’t think I ever will. I am a survivor, though.  Most of you have no idea what my life was like before I came back to the Lord. I am working so hard in deepening my relationship with Jesus Christ on a daily basis. I just hope someday you feel the same connection with Him. I am so sorry you are not willing to just let me be who I am without judging me, because I will continue on this path with or without you. I just hope it is with you.

Our Life In A Nutshell 2009

Dog Allergies

Asthma

Car Trouble
Finding Gavin's Sisters

Hospital

Car Trouble, again

Hospital, again

Double Ear Infection
Unemployed
Father Prostate Cancer
Botox Procedure (under anesthesia)
Serial Casting
Moving to KY
3 Day Road Trip
Shriners - Lexington
New AFOs

Grandmother Passing
Moving to New Apartment
New School
License Suspension
MRI (sedated)
72 Hour EEG
Soccer

New Church
New Friends

Loss of Relationship With Best Friend
Father Radiation
Ronald McDonald House
Snow
Eye Muscle Surgery
Awesome Christmas

Happy New Year!


So ready for a new year. I hope to strengthen my relationship with Christ in 2010. I hope to stay focused, and I hope to do what is best for me and my son. I am his mother, his teacher, his protector, and his leader. I want to continue to lead him into the right direction. He amazes me at every turn, and I know 2010 will be a fantastic year - for both of us!

Good Day

Today was a good day. We sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, and we opened presents from Santa. My son's face shown excitement and he said "Awesome!" almost every time he ripped the paper from a new gift. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful son, and a roof over my head that is safe for us, and new friends in our life. I am ready for a new beginning. I feel like I am home for the first time since I have lived here, and it feels wonderful. Thank You Lord, for making all this possible.

New Year - New Beginning

I know, I know, that title is so generic, and everyone always starts out a new year trying to say they are ready for a new beginning. But, I really am ready for some big changes in my life to happen this next year. I have not written on this blog in a REALLY long time, and I am planning on making it a goal to blog at least once a week beginning in 2010, if not more. I am not giving myself a maximum - if I feel like writing, I will write. I just want to see where this goes. I really doubt I will even have any readers. But, beginning in 2010, I might even let people know this blog exists, so I will just have to see if anyone decides they want to read it or not. I bombard people with multiple status reports on Facebook all day long, so I am thinking maybe a blog might be a better outlet, so as not to clog up someone else's feed with all my little stuff throughout the day. Instead, I can just write to myself throughout the day, and then post it all on here once, and then just share it on Facebook. We will just have to see. So, this is gonna be my 2009 wrap-up, even though I haven't even posted in 2009..lol. Just gonna write it down, what all happened in 2009, and see how it goes. Bear with me, and if you can't take the length, I am sorry. You can always check back in 2010 and see if my posts have shrunk in size.

Well, at the beginning of 2009, everything was going pretty well for me. I had a great job, and Gavin was doing well in school. Gavin had missed a few days because of illnesses of varying degrees, and I, in turn, had missed a couple days of work. Starting around February he started getting sick a lot more than normal, and I started missing work more frequently. I had no back-up babysitter and so if he missed, I missed. Also, I started having car trouble around that time, as well. Work was not enjoying me missing so much, because I had things to do and I wasn't getting them done in a timely fashion. So, needless to say, in April, I lost my job. They had given me multiple opportunities to redeem myself and it just seemed like nothing was helping, so I understand their need to remove me from the equation.

So, there I was, without a job, again. I had gone to school for Accounting Specialist, which is basically just learning basic Accounting Principles, and bookkeeping skills. I had not worked in the industry, only learned the basics. Once I had graduated, no would hire me without experience. My last job was as a Marketing Assistant, which basically just meant do what the Marketing Manager asked me to do. I loved it!

Anyway, so I could not find a job, and my rent was starting to become a problem, and there was no place for me to go in FL, and I had a friend I knew from Morganfield, KY. I had never heard of it, until I met my friend in 2006. She offered me a place to stay in Morganfield, and said they had apartments that were low-income apartments that had no waiting list. Typical wait time in FL was two to four YEARS, so I prayed about it and looked at all my options, and it felt like the right idea. So off I went (well, came) to KY.

The trip was long, and we made it here in three days, with a side trip to Shriners Hospital in Lexington. My son needed casts off, and so we made our appointment up here so we could go ahead and get familiar with the Shriners here. Gavin has been with Shriners since he was two and they always take good care of him.

We moved here in June, and were in our apartment in July. I like it here. I have had some ups and downs here, but I have found a wonderful church home, and Gavin has some good friends already. He played soccer this fall and is in school, and just enjoys life. Gavin had surgery on 12/10 and we had to go three hours away to have the surgery, but he lots of people who prayed for him and asked about him during the whole process. We have also been blessed this year for Christmas, he has had a lot of blessings. He is just a great kid in general, and I can't wait for the next year to see what all happens.

So, after reading this, if you still would like to read my future posts, I hope you don't get too bored. If not, I understand. This is just kind of an experiment on my part. And the choice to read or not is your own. I have set my goals, and I think my writing may improve if I continue on this. Just let me know what you think. This was just kind of a "catch-up" post. I am sure once I start weekly posts, my writing style will change. But, ultimately the people reading decide if they want to continue. I hope you do.

Merry Christmas everyone and I wish you a Blessed New Year! Looking forward to beginning on a new adventure.

Times A Tickin'

Ok, I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I figured I would just try it tonight (or actually morning), just to see what comes out. No one ever reads these anyway, so i can say whatever I want and no one will criticize me.

I am about to begin an adventure. A BRAND NEW adventure. I am moving to Kentucky in less than 72 hours. Yeah, in less than 72 hours. I am so excited and scared at the same time.

I am leaving behind some very wonderful people, but I know I can keep in touch with them. That is the amazing power of the Internet, and Social Networking such as Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, and Plurk. Never mind e-mail, and text messaging. There are so many ways to communicate (I forgot Skype!), that it will seem like I am not even gone from anyone's life really, and they are not gone from mine.

I am going to miss my dad, though. I know, I haven't always "gotten along" with my parents, but my dad and I have a specialness that only exists between father and (baby) daughter. And, he is about to begin his own journey, by beginning radiation treatments for prostate cancer, and I won't be here. I am also taking his grandson away, the only grandchild that he has truly known and been able to love in person in a long long time.

I have to move, I have no choice. I do not want to be homeless with my four year old son. It wouldn't be fair to him. I have exhausted myself trying to come up with another plan and couldn't find ANYTHING better. There are no openings in any shelters, there is no emergency asisstance for an unemployed single mom. There are 1000s of children homeless in the United States, and I do not want to put my child through that (again). We have been homeless before, but were able to live in a shelter for 17 months. I was truly blessed to have been able to stay in that place. Although it was not the ideal place for anyone to live, it was a safe place for me and my son to stay so that I could better myself and go to school. Having education has not helped me yet, but it might someday, and for that I am truly grateful.

I am really excited about moving to Kentucky and beginning a new chapter in my life. I am also very excited about being able to hang out with my BEST friend, Carla. She is truly my best friend in the whole wide world. We talk almost every day, but it will be nice to see her smiling face in person.

I plan on trying to write while I am traveling, as we are going to take our time going  up there. Gavin has an appointment for new casts (that's another story) on Thursday, so we are going to take it slow. I have never traveled far with Gavin, so this should be interesting.

Anyway, in case someone DOES happen to read this blog, please pray for us. We plan on leaving from Wesley Chapel (where my folks live) arouns 8 AM  EST on Tuesday, June 9, 2009. So, if you are up and thinking around that time, or any time after, feel free to pray for us as we begin our new lives in an unknown territory.

Thanks and God Bless you all!

I am a Graduate..

Well, I did it.
I finally did it.
I still can't believe I actually did it.
I finished school yesterday.
This is the first time in my whole life that I have completed ANYTHING, with the exception of high school, and I finished that late as well.

If you read my last post, you know that I had been given some extra time to complete my courses at school. I was given four extra weeks to complete four chapters, and to complete four tests. I missed the first week, due to MORE illness, and then finished two weeks and two days later, one week early. My Grade Point Average is about a 3.7, and I really don't know how that happened. Out of all the classes I took, I only had two grades below an A, and they were two C's. I am not sure how much of the program I actually remember though, and I hope and pray (key word) that I am able to find a job in the field and remember what I learned when I begin the job.


God has not brought me this far to drop me, so I am sure I will be okay.


Ya see, I have been tested much the last two years, and God has carried me through many things. I was asked to leave my parents home with a two year old on Christmas Day, 2006. I was working for a family babysitting full-time, and they let me move in with them temporarily. They realized they couldn't help me anymore because they could not afford to pay me enough to move out and they really needed their space back. So, I went to work for another family, who told me after a week that it would not work out. I was now jobless, homeless and penniless. With a two year old. I did not know where I was going to turn, and didn't feel I could call anyone from my church family or any of my friends because everyone had been so proud of me and the fact that I had found something fantastic with the family I had moved in with. I remember sitting in my car the night after I was told I had two weeks to find somewhere to go, and I prayed and prayed, and was sure an answer would not come. 


I had told one friend what had happened, only because she and her family were friends with the family that had told me to leave, and she directed me to this place that had a program for self-sufficiency for families that were homeless or at-risk of being homeless, so I went there. Anyway, it is a long story after this, but after lots of God intervention and some time, I was accepted into this program. I have been here since March 20, 2007. I have spent two Easters, a Thanksgiving, and a Christmas in this place. They had daycare scholarships with an on-site daycare so that I could go to school. They have been very understanding with my health issues that I have been going through lately and are being very supportive of the surgery I am having next week. God sent me to this place. I am sure of it. I only have a few months left here, and I am grateful for the time I have been able to stay here. It is a hard place to live in, due to all of the different personalities here, but I have still stayed and not been asked to leave. My son has thrived in their daycare and with all the children in the program, and I am very grateful.


This blog started out as one thing, and turned into something completely different, but I am not a real blogger. I am just beginning my journey in this life, so I can be forgiven minor things like a subject change in the middle of a post, right?


Thank you God for everything you have given me, the big things, and the small things. I am truly grateful.