Please Stop Judging Me: A Rant

I am so tired of people downing me because of how I am surviving! I have had so many people talk crap to me lately about getting assistance. Ya know, I am doing what I need to do to take care of my family and if you don't like it, don't talk to me. I will not need assistance forever! If I didn't get assistance, my child would be in foster care, where the GOVERNMENT would be paying to house my child with people he doesn’t know....At least he is with me, and I think that is more important than any assistance I get. I am just so over this. I am a single mom of a special needs child living in a screwed up economy. I am doing the best with what I have! I have an education, but that education has failed me. I am unable to find work in the field that I worked so hard in school for. I do not feel like the world owes me anything! I am not just some welfare mom asking for handouts. I WANT to work, I WANT things for me and my son. I have been jumping through all kinds of hoops, and I am working on going back to school YET AGAIN. It just scares me that if I go to school again, that again I will be looking for work and not find it. No one has hired me because all I have is school and no experience. If I go to school again, who is to say that is not going to happen again?

I know it was MY decision to bring my child into the world, and I would not give him up for anything. He is my whole life. His existence changed me, for the better. I might not be alive today if it weren’t for him. His existence renewed my faith in Jesus Christ. I know God gave him to me for a reason. My son is destined for great things. And if it takes me having to live on food stamps and a little government assistance for a while, then that is what I will do.

I know that I have made poor decisions, but I cannot change any decisions I have already made! And I don’t have any regrets, because everything I have done in my life has brought me to where I am today. For me to work, I may have to have child care assistance, as well. Will I get snubbed by people yet again? I have no family where I live, and even if I lived where my family lived, they are not responsible to take care of my child so I can work. That is up to me to find the help out there. So, the people who have family willing to help them, I think that is awesome! Instead of snubbing others who don’t have the family support, you should be thankful for the help your family gives you. Not everyone has that.

I started working at 14 years old. I have worked since I have had my child. I have not just sat on my butt collecting welfare since he was born. I went to school to better my life, and it hasn’t bettered my life in any way, except by showing me that I can finish something I started.  I don’t have a husband, and I don’t think I ever will. I am a survivor, though.  Most of you have no idea what my life was like before I came back to the Lord. I am working so hard in deepening my relationship with Jesus Christ on a daily basis. I just hope someday you feel the same connection with Him. I am so sorry you are not willing to just let me be who I am without judging me, because I will continue on this path with or without you. I just hope it is with you.