Yes, I Am Single. So?

I am single, and I am happy, for the most part. There are days I wish I was in a relationship, but I am not on the hunt for a man, because I wouldn't know what to do with one if I had one at this point. I say that kind of jokingly, but in all seriousness, I am not sure how I would handle having someone else around, since I have been alone for so long. I haven't even really "dated" since my son was a very little baby, and that was only very short lived. He is seven, now. I hung out with a guy I knew from junior high/high school that I found through MySpace (remember, MySpace?), a few years ago, and that ended REALLY bad, seeing as how he got arrested for child pornography, and since then I just fear exposing my child to anybody, especially someone I am dating. Even having friends hanging around my son makes me a little cautious. There were no "signs" that this guy was into this kind of stuff, and he had no record, since the 27 counts he incurred in 2009 was his first offense.

Anyway, back to the subject. I haven't really had a long term type relationship in over a decade, and I have been okay with it. I will always put my child first, and don't understand people who jump from one relationship to the next, exposing their children to one relationship to the next. It affects the kids, as much as it affects the people who break up. I see it all the time. I also see women who scour dating sites, looking for men, and putting their children on the back burner. I don't understand it. My child always comes first. If I ever do get a date, it will be a while before I would allow that person to be a part of my son's life. He is very easily attached, and I wouldn't want him to get hurt. I know a lot of people reading this won't agree with me, and that's okay. I am entitled to my own opinions, and I also am the one personally responsible for what happens in my child's life.

All this being said, I do hope that God places a man in my life, but if it never happens, I will be okay with it. There are a lot of men in my church and in scouts that can be male role models for my son, so I don't need to go out and find a man to fulfill that role. I am also not lonely. I have lots of things to keep me satisfied in my life, and I don't need a man to do any of that for me, either. I am not saying it is wrong for anyone else, it is just not for me. I have grown a lot in the last several years, and I am not out looking for a "quick fix" any longer. 

If God does decide to bring someone into my life, I will be grateful, though, and strive to be the best possible me I can. I won't allow someone else to define me, or tell me how I should be. I've done that in the past, as well, and it never got me anywhere but hurt. I have a list of attributes I would want in a man, and I will not settle for anything less than what I have on my list. I will not date a non-Christian. That is the very first thing on my list. At this point, my priorities are to God first, Gavin second, and myself third. I will continue to work on those things, and whatever else comes along will just be a bonus.