Tuesday, October 19, 2010

First Time For Something...

Are you shocked? You should be....two posts in one week. Actually, two days in a row...must be some kind of record. For me, at least. Well, don't get too excited, because this is not going to be much of a post. I just had a couple things I wanted to put down, in anticipation of a post to come, hopefully later in the week.

If you have read anything I have written before, you know that I have a son, and he means the world to me. Well, that son of mine, is turning SIX on Friday! I can't believe it! How can it be? Well, it is really happening. And, this year, for the first time since he turned one, he is actually having a birthday party! I am giving him a party. That is yet another strange concept for me, as I have never, ever, I repeat, EVER, planned a birthday party, for ANYONE, ever before. I have gotten a lot of pointers from on-line resources, and I have been to a few parties for children this summer, so I got some ideas from them. I hope I do okay. I hope Gavin is happy with the results. I look forward to making him happy, because he so deserves it. He is the best!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Family






My child brought this home from school today. This is our family. This is the family he has known most of his life. We have other family members, but he has not known most of them, most of his life. It saddens me, just a little. I have parents, and so they are his grandparents. And he knows them, and has spent time with them. We live far away from them, but that can not be helped. We had to move to become the people we are today.  Even when we lived closed to them, we did not see them often. Schedules just don't always permit that. That is just how life can be sometimes, I guess.





I grew up with a Mom, Dad, and two brothers. That was my family. I had a LOT more family that I hardly ever saw. I have family, including sisters, cousins, aunts, and uncles, that I have only seen once or twice, my whole life. We grew up in our own little world, it seems. We did not do big family dinners on holidays but once or twice my whole life. We had family who lived in the same town that we only saw occasionally. As an adult, I do not quite understand that. I moved away when I was 17, and I met a family that spent lots of time together. They saw each other as often as possible. They had Sunday dinners, they had weekend barbecues. They really knew each other. They loved to spend time together. I did not get to spend much time with them, but I enjoyed the time I did. 



I have so many cousins, on so many levels (seconds, thirds, fourths), that I do not know who all of them are. I have met some on Facebook that I have never met in real life. I have learned of others that are no longer on Earth, that I did not even know existed until it was too late. I know some people can't fathom this, but this is my life. I grew up in Florida, and many of my family members grew up in Texas. We did not go to Texas but a few times when I was a child. Schedules and/or finances didn't permit it. That is just how life can be, sometimes.




I now have Gavin, who does not know any of these relatives, the same ones I did not know growing up, and schedules, and finances have not permitted us to meet them. I hope someday we get to meet them, before they are no longer on the Earth, or neither are we. I am so happy we have Facebook, and texting, and phones, and Skype. We are able to keep up, a little, with what is going on in each others lives. I hope someday to be able to meet, and allow Gavin to meet, his family on my side.



Gavin has two sisters, they share a father. Well, they share a father's DNA. They are both AWESOME women, and I am proud to have them as a part of Gavin's life. They accept him, and love him, and accept me, because I am his mother, and that makes me happy. They have a family, on THEIR mother's side, who accepts Gavin as part of their family, although "technically, biologically", he is not. They are awesome people, as well. They have invited us to Atlanta, to spend Thanksgiving with their ENTIRE family (HUGE), which only gets together, all together, for Thanksgiving every few years, because of their size, and distance from each other, and their other sides, with marriages, and what-not. We REALLY want to go to this family gathering.




We are planning to rent a car, and drive to Atlanta the night before Thanksgiving, after I get off work. It is about 7 hours, so it shouldn't be a problem. The only problem, so far, is coming up with all the money to get there. Gavin's sisters' family is raising a lot. And, they are doing a great job. I am also trying to raise some, as much as I can, to cover the trip. The only money I need is for the rental, gas, and maybe a meal on the way, and one on the way back. I have a place to sleep, and food provided, once we get there. I am praying that God permits a way for us to go. I am hoping this great opportunity doesn't pass us by. If anyone knows a way to raise some money, please let me know. My schedule is pretty full, between work, school, and Gavin between now and Thanksgiving. I am trying to come up with ways to raise some of the money on my own. The family is doing a great job, and I want to try and match their efforts. If you can help, in any way, please send me an email at mcd.mel74@ymail.com



Thank you for reading.



Mel

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Writing Assignment

This is a writing assignment I did for my Writing I class. I just had to share it.


Prompt 3: Describe someone who is important to you, such as a friend or relative.




My son is the most important thing to me. His name is Gavin, and he is five years old. He brings light to my life when I am encased in darkness. I can honestly say that I would die to save his life. I cannot say that about anyone else on this entire planet.


Gavin is a very bright little boy, with, I am hoping, a wonderful future. He remembers everything he learns, sees, touches, and tastes, and can describe it months later as if it happened the day before. He is in kindergarten this year, and he is taking it all in. He comes home daily with descriptions of his day's activities, making sure to detail everything for me. He can be so descriptive with his words, I feel as if I was in the classroom with him.


Gavin was premature and weighed less than five pounds at birth. He has Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy. His CP is very mild and only affects his leg muscles, for the most part. He is completely ambulatory on his own, but wears orthotic braces. This being said, he is a regular five year old. He gets bumps and bruises, just like any other little guy. He does not realize he is any different from any of his friends, with the exception of the braces.


My little guy is obsessed with super heroes. He likes them all, and does not have a favorite. From day to day, his focus shifts from one superhero to the next, as he “becomes” his superhero of the day. He has several costumes, and most nights, he substitutes his costumes for pajamas, and wears them to bed.


His physical description is simple. He has blonde hair and brown eyes and the biggest smile of any child. He is small statured, and very thin. When he meets someone, they are usually hooked. Most people draw close to him after the first meeting, because he just exudes light and happiness. I am not only saying this because he is my child. Feel free to ask anyone one else that knows him. They will describe him the same way.


I knew when seeing the title of this prompt that I would be writing about my child. I am sure many parents would write about their children as the most important person in their lives. Gavin is important to me, because I was told I would never be able to carry a child to full term, and although he was not full term, he was the closest I had ever become. He is my miracle. He has been my whole world ever since, and everything I work for, I do because of him.



Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Checking In..

I made it through my first day of being a college student. Haha! I signed in yesterday and my class information was waiting for me. I opened up the syllabus and read through it, looked at the class assignments, and printed out the information. I had to make a calendar to remind me of when everything is due for both classes. I will get my actual assignments for the next class on Monday. I am actually okay right now. I am not too freaked out like I thought I would be. I have a lot to read and a lot to remember before my first quiz on June 8. 

This next couple of weeks are going to be busy. I have some things to take care of at home, and I also have VBS (Vacation Bible School) all next week. I have volunteered to be a teacher's helper, and Gavin will be attending, plus I will have work and school. And Gavin. I ask for prayers that I will make it through next week. I know I can do it, it is just going to be tough. I will try to update, but I might miss a post next week. I am sure I won't be on Facebook or Twitter much, either, unless I am able to sign in while at work. 




Wednesday, May 26, 2010

School Daze...

As some of you know, I went to school a couple years ago and nothing ever came of it. I could not find a job in my field, because of lack of experience. The school had no internship program for ‘Accounting Specialist”, so I basically have a certificate that is kind of useless. Although, it does look good on my resume for future endeavors, I suppose.

Well, I decided, after much deliberation and prayer, to go BACK to school, and so I am. I have enrolled in online classes for the summer semester and will start on campus in the Fall. My first online class begins on June 1. That is less than a week away. I am starting to get a little nervous, as I have not ever done traditional college, and online classes (in the summer) may have been a poor choice. I only say that because I already have to get used to school, and of course, summer classes are shorter, so require a lot of extra effort. My first classes are Intro to Music and History of Kentucky. This is an interesting combination, since they are basically both history-type classes. Well, The Kentucky History class is definitely history, but the music class has a lot of historical references. I ask for a lot of prayer over the summer, for both myself AND Gavin, because I am hoping to be able to organize my time well enough to make sure he still gets lots of my time, as well as work, and school. I am working on organizing, and prioritizing right now, and hope I have it figured out, somewhat, by the time I sign on to my first class on Tuesday.

So, that is school in a nutshell. If you did read this, please let me know. I just want to know if anyone actually reads anything I write. God bless everyone and have a great summer. Look for more posts soon!

Friday, May 21, 2010

It Has Been Too Long....

Well, I didn't follow through with my commitment. At all. On anything I committed to. I have not written since February, when I had made a commitment to write at least one post a week. I have not been exercising like I should be, although I made a commitment to myself to do so. I have also been eating whatever I wanted, although I made a commitment to myself to NOT do so. So, here I sit, feeling worse for wear, because I didn't follow through. 

If you know me, you will know that is one of my worst attributes. I have a real problem with following through. I try and try and still I always mess up somehow. I even joke that I couldn't even make it through a full-term pregnancy, because my son was almost 7 weeks early! 

My life is at stake here, when it comes to the exercise and eating better, and I still can't seem to get a hold on that. I have been feeling awful the last few weeks, and finally someone mentioned I might be lactose intolerant. So, I decided to just perform a little experiment. I am trying non-dairy or lactose free foods for a week, and see if I feel better. It is only the first day, so we will see how it goes. My blood glucose has been good the last few weeks, and I hope that continues to stay that way. I will be out of strips to test it soon, so I won't know. Just praying that I can keep up.

One more thing, and I will dedicate an entire post to this subject, but I am going back to school. I begin online classes on June 1. Like I said, I will write a post about that soon. 

Back to my commitments. I am re-committing to post something AT LEAST once a week, even if it is picture or youtube video or something. Even if it is one line saying hi. I commit to exercising for at least 30 minutes a day AT LEAST three times a week. I know, that isn't much, but it is a start. I also am going to attempt to eat better. I will let you know how all of this goes in my next post. Be on the lookout for it. Until then, be blessed.


Mel


Tuesday, February 23, 2010

A New Beginning....Again

I have always heard people say "This book changed my life", and always wondered how that could happen. Well, now I know. I set off to read this book, by Sherri Shepherd from The View thinking I would get a good laugh out of it. Well, it turned out to be much more than a few laughs. She woke me up. 

If any of you reading this know me personally, you know I am very overweight. Even if you don't know me personally, you may have seen a picture or two that reflects that. Well, I also have Type 2 Diabetes and am on oral medication for it. Also, if you know anything about me at all, you know I have an AMAZING five year old son, named Gavin. He has broken through some great obstacles over his short life, and I am more amazed by him every day. And, I am all he has. I am a single parent. I have no help from anyone else to take care of him, and that is how it has been since Day One. The reason I bring that up is, because if I weren't around, he would have no one. I always knew that in the back of my mind, but I just kind of ignored it. Until I read this book.

Sherri Shepherd is a stand-up comic, actress, Co-host of The View and also a single mother with Diabetes. Her son was premature (just like my son), and has some delays. She wrote this book and in it describes her struggles every day to eat right and exercise, because she wants to see her son grow up. I really could relate, and I decided to do something about it. I prayed about it. Sherri is also a Christian, and in her book she talks about God a lot. I asked God to help me make some major decisions. I joined a gym, and I have started eating a little better. I am still not eating like I should, but I am taking steps toward it. I am taking my medicine as I should. I have made a commitment that on days my son is in school (Monday through Thursday), I will be at the gym. I have not skipped a day, yet. It has only been a few days, but I feel a little bit better. 

She writes about many other things in this book, and I think all women would get something from it. Check it out, it is a very good read. This woman shows lots of strength. She is a human being more than just a celebrity. This book is available all over, so look it up. I got our local library to get it, before I had even read it, and before I started working there. I am so glad I did. I hope it changes others, or at least makes people think.

I just wanted to take the time to thank Sherri for writing this book. I know that God gave her the words, and He led me to read them for a reason. This book has changed my life.




Thursday, February 4, 2010

Worth The Wait

I am still not on the road, and this has been a hard time for me. The waiting is driving (no pun intended) me absolutely crazy. I have looked in the mail every day for my car title, and it has not come. I am still relying on others, and it is getting harder to ask for help. I did have some good news this week.

I got a job yesterday, and I start on February 15. I am going to be working part-time at the public library here in town. I am very excited. It isn't going to generate a huge income, and after my rent is adjusted and other parts of my income will be changed once I begin receiving work income, it really won't be much. But, it will be something, and I will feel better about myself for doing it. I have not worked since April of last year, so it has been 10 months since I received a paycheck, and I look forward to my first one.

I still have a few things to do to prepare. Gavin will be going to daycare three days a week, so I have to get him enrolled. I have the enrollment form completed, and I still need to drop it off. I also have a few other things to take care of. I will be working on those over the next week. I hope and pray I have my title to insure and register my car before several days before I begin work. I need to take Gavin to the daycare so he can meet the staff and they can meet him, because the first day he will be dropped off by the school bus right after school. I am trying to get all my ducks in a row. I will be working 4 days a week and one of those days is a Saturday. Gavin will have a sitter on Saturdays. This is a big step for me, since he has never had a regular sitter. He gets along well with everyone, though, so he should be fine. 

I completely give God the glory for all that is going on. I have been walking in faith, and I am reaping the benefits of that. Things are working out. I need to continue praying and living for God and things and be okay with whatever He dishes out!  That is my prayer, that I will be okay with whatever comes my way.




Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Humble Lesson








What a week! It has been a series of emotions this whole week. I had really high highs and really low lows, but I made it through. I found out this week that my drivers license had been reinstated in FL, and so I was going to be back on the road! I have been saving money and had enough to get everything I needed, my new Kentucky license, and my car insured and tagged in Kentucky. So, I started taking care of everything I needed to take care of. I went and got my Kentucky Drivers License. Then, I ran into a snag. I started looking for my car title, and couldn't find it. I searched through every piece of paper in my home, and then went to my car (which is being stored) and looked through it, and could not find my title. I had hit a bump. I called to find out how to get a duplicate title, and in the great state of FL, they just recently had a price increase on EVERYTHING and to get a duplicate, it was going to cost me. The price of a title in August 2009 was $29.25, but as of September 1, 2009, they jumped to $78.25! So, for me to get a duplicate title, to continue on my path of being back on the road, I would need to fill out a form I got online, print it, and mail it to FL with a check for $78.25. 

So, today, I got up and went to the library, and filled out the form I needed, and printed it, and wrote out a check for $78.25 and mailed it. Now, I wait. I have no idea how long this will take. It has to travel to FL, and then they have to process it, and then Tallahassee will send me a duplicate title. Once I get the title, I can then go insure my car, and then take it to the courthouse and register it. 

I have not driven my car since September, when I found out my license was suspended for an unpaid traffic citation I received a week after losing my job in April. I had forgotten all about the ticket, and had no idea my license was suspended, but was fortunate enough to find out before I was pulled over and arrested for driving without a license. This has been a very humbling experience, since I live in a town without any form of public transportation, and in September, I barely knew anyone in town. I live just far enough from the middle of town that walking to a grocery store would be impossible, especially with a young child. So, I had to start asking for help in forms of rides to the store and to and from church and anywhere else I needed to go. God has provided the people in my life to get us where we have needed. I am very grateful for those people. I have made some new friends through this. 

I will be happy to be able to be on the road again. I will be able to start taking measures towards looking for a job again.I will be able to go to a store without having to make a whole plan of who is going to take us and when can they come. If I need something, I will be able to just walk out the door, get in my car, and go. And I can visit other people without them having to come pick me up and take me back to their house. Gavin is looking forward to it, too. We can leave his carseat in our car, instead of having to tote it around when we need to go somewhere. I do thank God, though, for teaching me a lesson in humility, and allowing me to be humble and asking for help when I needed it. Also, I thank God for putting such wonderful people in my life that have helped us for the last few months, and if there is ever a way I can help any of them, or anyone else, then I will do so.



Thursday, January 14, 2010

Being Sick Ain't Pretty

First off, I would like to say that I am hardly ever sick since I had my tonsils out and quit smoking. Those things combined made my life so much better, since I stayed sick for months at a time before I did. 

I am now sick with Pleurisy. No one has explained what has CAUSED it, but that is what the doc is pretty sure I have. I have been sick now for almost two weeks, and I really dislike it.  I started having pains when I breathe a couple weeks ago, and I just thought of it as uncomfortable pain, then it gradually got worse. By Sunday that week, I was in enough pain to mention it at Sunday School, and my SS teacher said it sounded like pleurisy. I wasn't having any other symptoms, except the painful breathing, mostly in my back, at that point, so I dismissed it. The pain lasted a couple more days, and I made an appointment to see my new physician for Thursday (1/7), but by Tuesday (1/5), the pain was so bad, it was now also in my chest, and I was starting to have some problems breathing normally, I ended up going to the ER. The doc at the ER said I sounded clear and he just thought it might be a muscle pain and sent me home with a new appointment with my doc for the following Monday and a Z-Pack, just in case it was a beginning of an infection. I went through several days of pain, including the fun snow days with my son, and didn't like it at all. By Monday, I was ready to see the doc, so I went to my appointment. 

The doctor examined me, looked at my records from the ER (which was only a short physical exam), and told me he thought I had pleurisy. He prescribed a steroid for me to take for 12 days, another type of antibiotic, and a pain medicine. 

I have been on the meds now for three full days and am starting my fourth day. I still feel bad. I had a good two hours in the middle of the day yesterday where it didn't feel as bad, but as soon as it came back, it was like a blow to the ribs! 

The part I don't like about this, mostly, besides being in pain (which I REALLY don't like), is that I can't do a whole lot. When I try to do normal things, like cook dinner, or give my kid a bath, it knocks all the energy I have stored up, by sitting on the couch, right out of me. My house is a wreck, and I need to clean it. I would like to do a little more play time with my son. I look how I feel, as well (like crap). I just want to feel better soon. I have been praying to God to please heal me, and I know he will eventually, it just seems to be in His time, not mine. Which, of course, is His design.

So, in the mean time, I have been catching up with old friends on Facebook, and I have been reading my Bible more. I am on a challenge this month to read 31 Chapters of Proverbs in 31 Days. Today is Day 14. I have actually been able to keep up. I am growing more in my walk with Christ, by also reading a lot of Christian blogs. I have found amazing writers through other amazing writers, and have had a lot of life's lessons revealed to me over the last several days. I added some of them to my Blog Roll, and I encourage you to read them, as well. And you can find others from their Blog Rolls, and people who comment on their posts. If you have the time, it would be very rewarding, I promise. 


Thanks for taking the time to read my post. If you read it, please comment. I would like to know what you are thinking of my blog. I have kept up my commitment to myself, as well, so far, and for that I am truly grateful. Until next time.....








Friday, January 8, 2010

Snow!

We woke up Thursday morning to a phone call from the School Board saying there was no school. I knew there would be a chance of this, and had prepared Gavin by telling him it MIGHT snow, and he MIGHT NOT have school. Well, he was excited, because, as you know, we are from FL, and it does not snow there, and we had never seen snow! Well, the phone call woke us both, and as soon as I told Gavin, he ran to the window and GASPED! He was amazed at all the snow on the ground and wanted to immediately put on his boots and jacket and gloves and go out in it. Well, it was not yet 6 AM, and still dark, so I convinced him to wait until the sun had risen. He kept going to the window to see if it was light outside yet, and was discouraged every five minutes until a little over an hour had passed. We finally got to gear up and go outside and we were both SO THRILLED! This is how he looked the very first minute he was standing in snow:





As you can see he is so excited! And it is still kinda dark outside. We had such a good time, he liked the way it crunched beneath his feet when he walked, he loved running around in it and leaving giant footprints behind, and he liked trying to make snowballs. I had to make snowballs for him, and then hand them to him, so he could throw them....at me! That is true love when you do something so someone else can target you. The smile on his face never wavered throughout the whole time we were outside. He had so much fun. I was thrilled, as it was my first time seeing the powdery white stuff as well, and I really enjoyed everything about it. I kept looking around and thinking about God and how He is perfect and how beautiful a world He has designed for us to live in. He amazes me more and more every day. Gavin's favorite part of playing in the snow was making snow angels. We went out three times total yesterday and he made so many snow angels. My child is awesome and he loves the snow, and he knows that God made the snow. So, today we still have snow on the ground, and we are going to go back out and play in it and make snow angels to glorify God. I have to try to remember to glorify God in everything I do today. Without Him, I wouldn't exist, and without Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be who I am today. 










Saturday, January 2, 2010

Please Stop Judging Me: A Rant

I am so tired of people downing me because of how I am surviving! I have had so many people talk crap to me lately about getting assistance. Ya know, I am doing what I need to do to take care of my family and if you don't like it, don't talk to me. I will not need assistance forever! If I didn't get assistance, my child would be in foster care, where the GOVERNMENT would be paying to house my child with people he doesn’t know....At least he is with me, and I think that is more important than any assistance I get. I am just so over this. I am a single mom of a special needs child living in a screwed up economy. I am doing the best with what I have! I have an education, but that education has failed me. I am unable to find work in the field that I worked so hard in school for. I do not feel like the world owes me anything! I am not just some welfare mom asking for handouts. I WANT to work, I WANT things for me and my son. I have been jumping through all kinds of hoops, and I am working on going back to school YET AGAIN. It just scares me that if I go to school again, that again I will be looking for work and not find it. No one has hired me because all I have is school and no experience. If I go to school again, who is to say that is not going to happen again?

I know it was MY decision to bring my child into the world, and I would not give him up for anything. He is my whole life. His existence changed me, for the better. I might not be alive today if it weren’t for him. His existence renewed my faith in Jesus Christ. I know God gave him to me for a reason. My son is destined for great things. And if it takes me having to live on food stamps and a little government assistance for a while, then that is what I will do.

I know that I have made poor decisions, but I cannot change any decisions I have already made! And I don’t have any regrets, because everything I have done in my life has brought me to where I am today. For me to work, I may have to have child care assistance, as well. Will I get snubbed by people yet again? I have no family where I live, and even if I lived where my family lived, they are not responsible to take care of my child so I can work. That is up to me to find the help out there. So, the people who have family willing to help them, I think that is awesome! Instead of snubbing others who don’t have the family support, you should be thankful for the help your family gives you. Not everyone has that.

I started working at 14 years old. I have worked since I have had my child. I have not just sat on my butt collecting welfare since he was born. I went to school to better my life, and it hasn’t bettered my life in any way, except by showing me that I can finish something I started.  I don’t have a husband, and I don’t think I ever will. I am a survivor, though.  Most of you have no idea what my life was like before I came back to the Lord. I am working so hard in deepening my relationship with Jesus Christ on a daily basis. I just hope someday you feel the same connection with Him. I am so sorry you are not willing to just let me be who I am without judging me, because I will continue on this path with or without you. I just hope it is with you.

How Many People Have Been Here?