Five Days Til Surgery

My son is having surgery in five days. He's seven. This is his third eye surgery, but his eighth time either under general anesthesia or some form of sedation. This should be "old hat" to me; no big deal, right? WRONG! I am a nervous wreck, again. It's five days away, and I am starting to get the upset tummy, fiddly hands, and just all around nervousness. I don't know why I get like this. I have complete faith in the doctors and nursing staff at the hospital. I have complete faith that God will get him through it, yet he is my little boy, and I get scared every time they put him under. Every single time. 

What's even harder is they take him away from me while he is still awake, then put him under without me being in the room. I know when I have been  under general anesthesia, I almost go into a panic attack right before I go under. I wonder what he feels. The last two times, they have given him a medicine to help calm him down ahead of time, and to help him not remember being put under, so that has been helpful, I suppose. 

I have a lot to keep me busy over the next few days, so that should be helpful. We are spending some time with some friends this evening, and going to the fair. I will be cleaning my apartment from top to bottom this weekend, because I live in subsidized housing, and we have inspections next week. That will help keep my mind off of things. Of course, I will be starting my list of things to pack for our trip, since we have to travel for his surgery, and stay overnight in Louisville (3 hours away) the night before and the night of the surgery, to see the doctor the next day, before coming home. That is another thing that makes me nervous, being away from home, although we will be staying at Ronald McDonald House, which is my favorite place to stay in this situation. 

So, anyway, I am nervous. I do not let on to Gavin that I am nervous, as I don't want him to be scared because of me. To him, I act like this is all just a routine thing (which it really is), and there's no reason to be scared. If anyone has any tips for me, to not be nervous, although I probably still will be, because, like I said, I do have complete faith that it will all go well, please let me know. Until Wednesday, I might write a couple more times about this - just a warning...

Thanks for reading!

-Mel