My son went seven years without ever hearing from his father, and although it was tough, it was just what he was used to, and it was actually pretty simple. He knew his dad's name, and knew where he lived, but had never met him, or even heard from him, by phone, letter, email, text, or telegram...then, out of the blue, his new wife sent me a message on Facebook, telling me that he wanted to start a relationship with Gavin, but didn't know how to go about it. I was told that he talked about him a lot, and he felt like it was too late to just jump into his life. I was VERY leery. First off, I didn't hear from HIM...I heard from his new wife...and it had been 7 years...I have raised my son alone for 7 years, from day one, because his father has chosen to not be a part.
Ya see, I tried to keep him involved when my son was a baby...I sent him pics and letters, including addresses and phone numbers of how I could be reached (I had moved to a different city, although he had not made any effort to be there for the first few months, anyway). I never, ever, got a return letter from him. When my son had his first seizure, around 18 months old, I called him, to let him know, and ask about his family history...all he said was "no, no seizures"...never even asked about his son, to see if he was okay...when my son was diagnosed with a disability at age 2, I sent him another letter...again, without response. I gave up, and went on with my life.
When my son was 4, I decided to find his half-sisters that I knew about, and when I contacted them, they didn't even know that my son existed. I was not surprised, really, but it did kind of hurt me to know that he never told anyone about his son. His sisters decided that wanted a relationship with their brother (they were young adults by this time), and we set to work on building that relationship. Still, their father never contacted us, and chose not to be a part of his life. Another three years passed...
That brings us back to November, 2011...when I got a random message from my son's father's new wife...I prayed about it, and decided to ask my son what he wanted to do. He decided he would write a letter to his dad, and he wanted to send him pictures of himself from the time he was a baby until present day. We went through and printed a bunch of pictures off of my computer, and he wrote him a letter, and colored a couple pictures...and we mailed them all to his father. Within weeks, he received a response, along with a couple small gifts, and my son was SO excited to have a letter from his FATHER...he wrote him another letter, and the second response took a little longer, but it came...and he wrote him another letter...we mailed that one in March 2012, and it is now June, and he has not heard back from him since. So, now, my son is heartbroken, again, and of course, today was Father's Day, so that made it even harder for him. He is very confused, wondering if he will hear back from him, thinking maybe his last letter got lost in the mail...he has so many questions...and I have absolutely no answers. I am always having to pick up the pieces of my child's broken heart. I almost hate myself for allowing him to get his hopes up, of a relationship with his father...
Like I said, I needed to get this off my chest...if you are a subscriber, you will be the only ones who reads this, and I think I have like 2 subscribers...I may post it to Twitter, though...but if you read this, and have any suggestions, I welcome them...if not, that's okay. I am really just writing this to get it off my chest. If you have actually read to this point, thank you.
1 comments:
No suggestions. Sorry. Praying always that God will mend the broken pieces. Lots of love to you and G.
Blessings,
PK
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